Letting Go of Anger and Grudges
Month 10: Loving One Another · Heart Matters
Today's Scripture
Read together: Ephesians 4:26-27, 31 & Matthew 18:21-22
26 “Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. … 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. — Ephesians 4:26-27,31
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times! — Matthew 18:21-22
Memory Verse
“Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.”— Ephesians 4:32 (BSB)
📖 Bible-in-a-Year (optional)
Today's reading: Luke 7–8
Reading the whole Bible in a year — do this when you have extra time.The Heart of It
Anger isn't always sinful. Even God gets angry at evil. Jesus Himself was angry at hard-hearted people who didn't care about a suffering man (). So Paul says, "Be angry, and do not sin" (). The danger isn't feeling anger. The danger is feeding it. That's why Paul adds, "do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." A grudge is anger you decided to keep. You carry it to bed. You water it overnight. You wake up with it bigger. Paul says that's like leaving the front door open for the enemy. A grudge doesn't punish the person who hurt you. It slowly poisons you.
Peter asked how many times he should forgive. He generously offered seven. But Jesus answered, "up to seventy times seven" (). He didn't mean "stop at 490." He meant stop counting altogether. Forgiveness isn't a quota. It is a way of living. Jesus knew our hearts love to keep score. We love to file away every offense for later. But a forgiven person lets the books stay closed, the way God closed the book on us. Letting go of a grudge feels scary, like dropping something you've been gripping tight. But your hands were made for hugging your family, not for clenching old wounds.
Around the Table
When you get mad, don't keep the mad! Say sorry. Forgive. Hug before bedtime.
Let's do it: Make tight angry fists, then open your hands wide and shake the "mad" out.
A grudge is staying mad on purpose. Jesus says don't keep count. Just keep forgiving.
Let's talk: Is there anyone you've been keeping a "list" against? What would it feel like to tear up the list?
"Don't let the sun go down on your wrath" means we deal with anger today. When we hold on to it, we give the devil an opening.
Let's go deeper: What's the difference between being honestly angry about a wrong and holding on to a grudge?
💬 Conversation Starter
What's a good "before-bed" habit our family could start so nobody goes to sleep still mad?
🛡️ Defending the Faith
Jesus' teaching to forgive endlessly was radical. No other ancient teacher framed forgiveness this way. That fits a Lord who came to live out mercy, not merely talk about it. We can hold this confidently, because the Gospels are early, they are many, and they are honest eyewitness accounts (; ).
For Dad · Go Deeper
"Do not let the sun go down on your wrath" is one of the most practical verses for a household. Bitterness in a home usually isn't a single explosion. It is a hundred small offenses quietly filed away and never resolved. As the leader, you set the clock. Build a rhythm where conflicts get addressed before bedtime rather than carried into another day. And model it first. When you snap at a child or your spouse, circle back the same evening and make it right. Beware too of the slow grudge you may carry yourself, toward a parent, a church, or an old friend. Kids absorb what we tolerate. A father who refuses to let resentment stay overnight in his own heart teaches his children that no offense is worth giving the enemy a foothold.
Draws on: Paul Tripp, Anger; and Derek Prince, God's Remedy for Rejection.
Let's Pray Together
"Father, when we get angry, help us not to sin. Don't let us carry it to bed. Pull out every grudge in our hearts. Help us forgive again and again, the way You forgive us. In Jesus' name, amen."
I won't carry anger to bed. Forgiven people keep the books closed.